In each instance, we have a tendency to avoid assertive communication because weвЂ™re scared of how exactly we or other people might feel because of this.
And even though using one of these simple three less optimal designs may assist us avoid conflict or negative emotions when you look at the short-term, they always result in negative leads to the long-lasting:
- Into the passive design, we feel chronically dissatisfied that we canвЂ™t stand up for what we want or believe, which leads to increasingly low self-confidence and self-esteem with ourselves, ashamed.
- Into the style that is aggressive we become socially separated, lonely, as well as depressed because people within our life are scared to connect with and start to us.
- Into the passive-aggressive design, individuals lose rely upon and respect for people and sometimes are chronically frustrated and irritated as a result of our indirect and behavior that is responsibility-avoidant.
Having said that, thereвЂ™s discomfort that is often temporary blowback once we function or talk assertively:
- Talking up for what we wish creates anxiety and nervousness.
- Sharing exactly how we actually feel leaves us susceptible and may also expose our insecurities and worries.
- Using obligation for the actions is hard and requires a complete lot of work often.
other people may state or mean that weвЂ™re selfish by perhaps not going with their demands. Or our attempts at being more direct and respectful might be met with initial doubts or mistrust.